Hello, from Ireland!
I’m 8 weeks into my 12 week sabbatical here in the magical, mystical land of Ireland. I don’t mean to sound cliche…but this place has a hold on me! It’s been a bumpy ride so far with travel, writing, death, visitations…let me tell you a bit about it…
As you may know, I came here to write. I’ve done a bit of that and am up to about 100 pages…maybe 1/3 of the way to completion. This part is going ok except for my persistent waffling as to focus, purpose, format…the story’s not the problem, but the delivery is another matter entirely. I’ve taken 3 writing classes and met with a local editor so I have lots of really good advice about how to proceed…the question is, will I take that good advice?
I have three main threads of story to tell in my memoire…the first is about my early life and the impact of traumas that few people know about. This, of course, leaves me with the concern about loved ones who will be concerned about me when they hear of such things. There’s no way around stirring up those closest to us when we share our truths. Like Maya Angelou says, ‘There’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story.’ So, these things must be spoken. Besides, I’ve done my own processing and healing work around them, so they’re not traumas to me any longer. I’m just sharing the fruits of my experience and my contemplation in case those might be of use to someone.
Next comes the thread of spiritual/religious experiences I’ve had since childhood…again, many of which I’ve not shared to date…at least not to the level that they’re pouring out of me now. Fears arise in regard to who will do what with the details of the sublime and sometimes otherworldly things that have happened to me from childhood and into religious training. Beyond the spiritual/religious are the wild, earthy, otherworldly experiences that restore the balance between heaven and earth in this earthwalk we’re all taking together.
Finally, there’s my long history of visitations from the spirit world…yes, I see dead people. There, I’ve said it. And I have lots more to say about it, including the story of how my dead husband visited me here in my tiny Irish cottage for over a week and all of the happenings of that happenstance. Whew…it’s challenging to put all of this stuff out there and I haven’t hit the ‘publish’ button yet so I still have a chance to pull back…but I don’t think I will.
In my experience in the care of the dying and the grieving, in hospice and in ministry, counseling and my own life, I find that many people suffer from not knowing what I know is true. I don’t profess or pretend to know everything…but what I do know for sure is what has happened in my life. I also know for sure that I’m here on the planet to share these happenings with others who want to know about such things.
Running in parallel to this writing process, is the process of my own aging/croning/elderhood. I know it’s presumptuous to say at age 55, but I’m experiencing a metamorphosis of sorts that includes a deep reclamation of all aspects of my being. In the Native American tradition, they say that we’re not adults until age 50. I find that to be true and I have so much more to learn…I guess I always will. Nonetheless, I have a few things to teach as well, and a whole person to be in the world.
When you see me next, I may not seem different at all on the outside, but rest assured, some major renovations are underway. Do you know that the larvae of a butterfly completely disintegrates in the cocoon and reintegrates as something completely different? Well, there you have it…a caterpillar digests itself from the inside out until all cells are the same- ‘imaginal cells’ that can create something completely different from the caterpillar. Check it out here… https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-goes-on-inside-a-cocoon
Now you’ll just have to wait for the rest of the details of the story until I return to NH…or until this book gets published! Sending you prayers and hugs from the Emerald Isle where all things are possible!